MY BEST FRIEND'S WEDDING
or How To Make $11,000 in Just 8 Hours

Back some months ago I was sort of shocked when Wyatt returned from a trip to California and said he was taking the big plunge into couplehood. He'd been out to the "left coast" to visit his email pal Quyen and while there decided that marriage was definately in the cards. So without delay, he proposed, she accepted and the green flag was waved.

Now, I knew they were getting along well and really liked each other. His previous two visits had went splendidly and they had stayed in contact over several months. They were single handedly destroying all myths about long distance relationships (a couple of which I helped perpitrate). But to get married after only six months? Whew!

March rolled around and the clock was fast ticking down to the big day. Suprisingly there were no regrets and cold feet, at least none that I could tell. And for my role as best man, I was going to have to dress up in a tux for the first time since my wedding in 1991. Uh-oh!

And so, here is my take on what turned out to be one of the funnest weddings I have ever been to without a hangover.

The Arrival

I flew into LAX about 3:30 on March 26. Wyatt held true to his long standing hatred of promptness and was nowhere in sight. To be fair, LA stinks with traffic and Wyatt and Quyen were just another in a long line of road raged victims. About 45 minutes after claiming my baggage, they showed up and we were off.

A dinner date was our first stop. Wyatts "Tops in Blue" buddy Mike was meeting us for dinner at a place off Ventura some 15 or so miles north of the airport. Remember that traffic I mentioned? Well, that was the main reason why it took us over an hour to do those 15 miles on the freeway. It was so bad we actually had to do a driver change and I got to experience first hand why mass transit should be the wave of the future. There was much cheering when we managed to make it past 25mph for more than 5 yards.

After driving up and down Ventura a couple of times looking for the restaraunt, we finally found it. Dinner ensued along with some fairly interesting conversation. Then it was back on the road to Anahiem. Traffic had thinned out by this time and I, again driving, managed to get us to my hotel fairly quickly (and without shots being fired).

Calm Before the Storm

Being on Central time still, I woke at 8am local time. I decided to use this time wisely. I made myself a cup of complimentary in-room coffee (gak!) and read a couple of chapters in my book. About 9:30, I showered and headed down to the hotel restaraunt for breakfast. This is where the relaxation ended. Most of Wyatts relatives plus his school chum Sahale, were also staying at the hotel (hey, group discounts are great!) and they just happened to be having their complimentary breakfast. So, I ended up melding with the group and my quiet morning was quickly went the way of the Rubics Cube.

After breakfast came the trip to Universal Studios. Let me just say that Universal Hollywood and Universal Orlando are two compeltely seperate entities. Of the two, I think the Hollywood one is better. Not only does it have a couple of better rides, but it also has a backlot tour of the actual Universal lot and a great view of the San Fernando Valley. I was slightly disappointed that I did not get to see a Cylon walking around, though.

After finishing this, we rushed back to Anahiem where we managed to get to the church for one practice run of the wedding. Then it was back to the hotel for a break, some dinner then drinking at the hotel bar with Wyatt, Mike and some soon to be in-laws.

The Big Day

So I go to put on my tux jacket and think "Hmmm...this warm weather and humidity really has gotten to me. I must be shrinking!" Turns out I got the wrong size jacket. So I trot downstairs to Kevins room (Wyatt's brother doncha' know) and see him doing an Incredible Hulk impression with his jacket. We switch and all is well. Almost. He is also good at doing a Pee-Wee Herman impression when given a good pair of high-waters. Ruh-Roh!

At the church, things are just this side of being out of control. Fawn, the 100+ wedding director, is running about trying to control 5 things at once and definately in no mood for my smart-assed cracks. So I turn up the heat a bit. The results are fun to watch while waiting for things to get started.

Nick, the golden voice of this event, shows up and just happens to have a spare pair of tux pants that fit Kevin nicely (being the suave Billy Zane-type that he is, he owns his own tux and didn't need the rented one. Whatta guy!). Disaster two averted.

After standing around aimlessly for almost an hour, the event of the '90's begins. And everything went smoothly. The bride looked great. The groom looked great. The groomsmen looked awesome. The brides-maids looked great. Wyatt hit his marks. Quyen hit her marks. I hit my marks. Mai hit her marks. You get the point here? It was just that flawless. I doubt anyone saw Wyatt shaking when he put the ring on Quyen.

Next came picture taking hour (hence the accompanying photos). I did get one decent one of the wedding party. Then it was back to the hotel to rest and prepare for the engagement ceremony. Really, there is a reason this followed the wedding but I haven't got the time.

Long Shirts

Next stop, the abode of the brides parents. Here the wedding party donned our traditional Vietnamese "Long Shirts" and accompanying hats, then proceeded in two-by-two fashion past the welcoming line and into the house. I must say I look dazzling in brilliant blue!

Inside, the families went through the ritual of introducing each other and presenting gifts and honoring those not with us anymore. Then we ate. Oh boy, did we eat!

Once all this was over, it was back to the hotel for another rest before heading off to the reception.

YMCA

Across town in some place that I have no idea how to ever get back to again, we convened in a strictly Vietnamese shopping center for the reception at a large Vietnamese restaraunt where we had a huge 7-course meal with about 150 other family and friends.

Sometime around course 3, I had to change back into the "Long Shirt" and follow Wyatt, Quyen and both sets of parents around to each of the 30+ tables as they spoke with the guests and accepted their wedding gifts. I missed courses 4 through 6 and barely got 7. But Phuong saved me some food from these courses so I had a little something to eat after I got done. Thanks for looking out for me!

Meanwhile, Nick and Mike entertained the crowd with tunes as did Wyatts father. After the dinner, the required first dance was done, then the dance floor was opened. Now, I have never seen a wedding reception turn into a dance party before but it happened. The DJ spun some good dance tunes and the floor got packed. The only thing we were missing was Danny Tario (that's a Dance Party USA reference folks). The best part was us groomsmen doing the YMCA bit onstage (honestly, I only had one beer...and some champagne...and some wine...) and getting the fathers up to join us. Pictures coming soon to prove this.

We had the place rockin' so hard the doorman was having a hard time convincing pedastrians that there was no cover charge because this wasn't a dance club!

Too bad it ended at 11.

Epilogue

And that was that. I recuperated Sunday, said bye to all the cool people I met and just bummed about until I left Monday morning. I was kind of sad it was all finished. Yep, the party was over...at least for me.